When you think of Christmas, certain words pop into your head like visions of sugar plums. They evoke all the usual trappings of Christmas, words like snow, Santa, reindeer, jingle bells, ornaments, tinsel, lights. Well, it appears Christmas can be conjured up in music beyond the sleigh bells jingling and the clomp-clomp of horses hooves heard in many a Christmas carol.
A professor at Berklee College of Music in Boston conducted a scientific study on what sort of things are common in Christmas songs, which sounds kind of like one of the Federal government’s pork deals, such as researchers spending taxpayer funds from National Science Foundation grants to the tune of $1,557,083 to walk lizards on a treadmill.
Believe it or not, you can read the paper online: “Data analysis of Musical and Lyric Traits in the UK’s favourite Christmas songs,” wherein Professor Joseph Bennett and team analyzed 200 Spotify streams from UK homes (and you thought Spotify data was private) to discover what songs people were playing at home the week of December 25, 2016. These were the study’s parameters:
Each song’s musical key was noted. For songs that changed key, the key of the chorus was used. Each song’s year of release, time signature and beats-per-minute tempos were recorded. The songs were also categorized according to the vocal – Male, Female, M/F duet, Group or instrumental. Finally, the songs were categorized into 9 broad lyric themes. When a song had more than one theme (e.g. a party song featuring a snowman), the main/majority theme was used.
Way to go. How to take the fun out of Christmas. Among other riveting findings, it turns out that 68% of the singers were male and 15% were sung by Michael Bublé. Is it possible Britain has a wee gender equity problem when it comes to holiday music? There certainly is a 15% taste problem. Above that actually, as 11% were found to have played ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’ by Mariah Carey.
If you haven’t guessed yet, the songs and albums synonymous on this Essentials list have nothing in common with the lovelorn open letter the multi-octave, melisma-addicted Carey warbles when she trills “It’s tiii-iimmme!”, sounding like Bruce Buffer announcing the start of a UFC main event. There are some really interesting and enjoyable Christmas albums out there waiting to be more widely heard. Many, if not all of these you won’t hear on i-heart Christmas radio in an elevator or your dentist’s office. That’s what makes them essential.
Number 10: Jorma Kaukonen “Christmas” (Relix Records, 1996)
‘Christmas Rule’ sets the tone, a hilarious, romping blues about Santa’s sleigh getting lit up by a too-high Christmas Eve fire, with the not-so-jolly bearded one showing up at the front door in a foul mood demanding the keys to Jorma’s pickup in order to finish his deliveries. Kaukonen, the vaunted guitarist of Jefferson Airplane and Hot Tuna, is joined by his guitar buddy, Michael Falzarano, who also did a stint with Hot Tuna as well as New Riders of the Purple Sage and The Memphis Pilgrims. As you might expect, these guys like to jam and what could be more appropriate for some extended sweet noodling than ‘Holiday Marmalade?’ The duo plays as if they just pulled up chairs beside the fireplace and began trading licks. Half vocals, half instrumentals and all good.
Number 9: Bruce Cockburn “Christmas” (Columbia 1993)
The surprise is it took almost two decades for the Canadian folksinger to make a Christmas album. His early albums were released on True North and they all had some sort of wintry art on the jackets. Cockburn’s gorgeous, intricate acoustic fingerpicking is unrivaled, and it is on full display here along with his reverential side, a welcome return to his early gospel roots. He makes the point in the liner notes how he prefers the songs which were spiritually inspired. He does traditional exceptionally well: ‘I Saw Three Ships,’ ‘Joy to the World’ and ‘Silent Night.’ But if you came for the obscure done in a laid back, unplugged manner, go right to ‘Mary Had A Baby,’ which features a chorus including T-Bone Burnett & Sam Phillips or to ‘Rio Rio Chiu’ sung in some ancient Spanish dialect. It translates as “birdsong” and refers to the call of a nightingale, or the call of a shepherd to his sheep.
Number 8: Emmylou Harris “Light of the Stable” (Reprise, 1992)
Emmylou Harris has a breathtaking voice, relaxed, easy and floating over every note. She can sing just about anything and make it sound like her heart is breaking and the end is near. The slower songs are where she shines, soaring on ‘The First Noel.’ Emmylou brings the same elegance and authenticity to Christmas that she always has on signature albums “Red Dirt Girl” and “Wrecking Ball.” If you have an ounce of the spiritual inside, you can’t help having your soul stirred by her traditional rendition of ‘Star Of Bethlehem.’ Willie Nelson, Dolly Parton, Linda Ronstadt, and Neil Young join her on ’Silent Night.’ She picks up the pace on a couple tunes, notably the bluegrass version of ‘Christmas Time’s A-Comin.’
A word to the wise: Buy the remastered version with three new bonus tracks and insightful liner notes as the original album is only 30 minutes long. Two of the tracks are from Kate & Anna McGarrigle (more on them further down the page) including Kate’s arrangement of’ ‘Cherry Tree Carol’ and their own ‘Man Is an Island.’
Number 7: Rodney Crowell “Christmas Everywhere” (New West, 2018)
What can I say that hasn’t been said, in these pages already by AUK’s Paul Kerr? “This is a grown up Christmas album which acknowledges the conflicting demands of the season, how to weather the commercial blitzkrieg, keep the kids happy and keep oneself sane.”
And the music is pretty darn good, too, although don’t expect many ‘Silent Night’ or ’Frosty the Snowman’ moments. It’s more like a John Prine or Hayes Carll take on the holiday with rants on shopping, sad Christmas memories, the gritty misery of a holiday in a red-dirt town, and a few broken hearts thrown in for sad measure. So why do I like it? Perhaps it’s Crowell’s witty, perspicacious lyrics with an homage to John Lennon in the song ‘Christmas Everywhere’ that has an odd twist when Lera Lynn starts singing about wanting to go back in time to save Lennon the night he died.
In the liner notes, Crowell laments how his family Christmases weren’t always warm and fuzzy. One year, presents were under the tree; the next year just some fruit and nuts with a hammer to crack them open. “The record was close to being finished when it occurred to me that to set the tone for the album’s mostly irreverent subtext, I needed to compose a lyrical prelude. In honor of Clement Moore, who wrote the poem we all know as, ‘The Night Before Christmas,’ I came up with a short piece called ‘Clement’s Lament (We’ll See You in The Mall)’. Crowell may sound all conflicted and cynical at times, but underneath you’ll come away with the impression he may have even have gone caroling, though he’d never admit it.
Number 6: The Beach Boys “Christmas Album” (Capitol, 1969)
It was fifty-five years ago today that Brian Wilson taught his band of brothers Dennis and Carl along with Mike Love and Al Jardine to play …. some popular Christmas music, that is, sun and fun California style. The original “Christmas Album” was released in mono so you’d be best served searching out the digitally remastered edition, though it may set you back a few bucks more than your budget. Of course, if you don’t mind dealing with the streaming giant, Scrooge McSpotify, who is known for paying musicians with lumps of coal, you may find the remastered tracks on that platform. Never having visited, I can’t vouch for that.
“There’s a tale about Christmas that you’ve all been told, And a real famous cat all dressed in red.” The Boys released ‘Little St. Nick’ as a single one year before the album came out. Brian Wilson had recruited Dick Reynolds of The Four Freshmen to help with the arrangements, which have classic Beach Boys harmonies. For whatever reason, not that it had anything to do with Reynolds, Wilson had a nervous breakdown shortly after finishing the album. You have to wonder if he was starting to feel a little off when writing ‘Santa’s Beard.’ “He yanked the beard right on off of his chin, And in his eyes I could see he was hurt.”
Nevertheless, we get ‘The Man with All the Toys,’ (all 92 seconds worth) along with a bunch of dazzling classics. We wish Brian Wilson a merry Christmas wherever he may be.
Number 5: Over the Rhine “Snow Angels” (Great Speckled Dog Records, 2007)
I bought this one 17 years ago, and a few days later a couple from Alabama dropped off a mint Acura TL Type-S at the Knoxville dealer and drove away to Dollywood in a new SUV. Friendly salesman called me and said it’s got 18K on the odometer, and my Christmas present waiting to be picked up. “Snow Angels” was the first CD I played in that car.
This album gives you the feel of sitting in a cabaret at Christmas time, glass of whiskey on the table, listening to 10 original torch songs of the season. OtR put their bedazzling touch on these songs, some with a biblical motif, others of the Amish and camp meeting milieus and their traditions. Christmas is before all else a Christian celebration, though Karin Bergquist and Linford Detweiler are hardly Contemporary Christian artists. ‘White Horse’ is a hymn cloaked in a carol. Steeped in allusions to biblical testaments, its lyricism and harmony can move souls as though they weighed but a pebble. From ‘Darling (Christmas Is Coming)’ is the thoughtful lyric – Salvation bells are ringing, Darlin’ Christmas is coming, Do you believe in angels singing?
The centerpiece offers this line of thinking on ‘Here It Is’: When they blow Gabriel’s horn, Rip fiction from fact, I want to get caught, In some radical act, Of love and redemption, The sound of warm laughter, Some true conversation, With a friend or my lover. The title track captures OtR at their most captivating.
Number 4: Helene Cronin “Beautiful December” (Independent, 2023)
We asked Helene Cronin to do one of AUK’s Exclusive Mini-Gigs and sing some of the six songs on this EP. That’s how much I think of this breathtaking classic-in-waiting. On her website, Cronin explains: “The songs are all originals, and highlight the varied feelings of the holidays: joy, weariness, love, faith, family, nostalgia, and most of all hope.” Hope is the theme of the first week of Advent readings this year. Each night at the dinner table after the candle has been lit, readers are asked to state something that has given them hope. You’d be surprised how easy it has been to find hope all around us this year.
The first song on the album is ‘I Could Use A Silent Night,’ supported by Cronin’s precise acoustic strumming, she sings about needing a respite from all the shopping, wrapping, decorating and cooking that goes into holiday preparations. ‘The Bells of St Thomas’ is a dirge inspired by hearing the chimes from St. Thomas Catholic Church. The best are two songs concerning the nativity scene. ‘Night on Earth’ is a re-telling of the story of Christ’s birth with flawless acoustic picking and cello accompaniment. She describes the magic of Jesus’ birth on Christmas Boy’ as if she was hovering above the manger on that cold, long ago night. Here you are asking angels to say, “Shepherds leave your flocks tonight, and come see a king, and those racks you wear hold so much more, than a poor girl’s bundle of joy, because peace and life and hope and love are wrapped up in you, Christmas boy”.
Number 3: Kate and Anna McGarrigle “The McGarrigle Christmas Hour” (Nonesuch, 2005)
The McGarrigles proved the old axiom: “The family that plays together, stays together.” Kate and Anna McGarrigle were a brilliant Canadian folkie duo, perhaps better known for Kate’s children (Rufus and Martha Wainwright from her marriage to Loudon Wainwright III) than their brilliant ’70s albums. They recruited family and friends, Emmylou Harris, Chaim Tannenbaum, Beth Orton and third sister Martha McGarrigle to record songs that range from ‘O Little Town of Bethlehem’ to Jackson Browne’s ‘Rebel Jesus.’ It’s a homespun affair and the last album they made before Kate died of sarcoma at the age of 63 in 2010.
The album is like spending quality time in Kate and Anna’s parlor. There the piano, fiddles, other instruments and friendly voices are ready to satisfy with quaint old-world charm. The first two songs – ‘The Seven Joys of Mary’ and ‘Old Waits Carol’ are traditional Catholic hymns. The French song ‘Il Est Ne (le divin enfant)’ is presented with shimmering harmonies while the medley with ‘Ça Bergers’ continues the narrative of the birth of the baby Jesus, assemblons-nous, Allons voir le Messie (let’s all go to see the Messiah). Rufus Wainwright turns in a warm performance in ‘Spotlight on Jesus’ and Chaim Tannenbaum, who has sung on most of the McGarrigle sisters’ albums, delivered the best ‘Blue Christmas’ since Elvis. This is a real family, playing and singing together at Christmas. Cherishing the ancient, and living the present.
Number 2: Chicago “25” (Chicago Records, 1998)
If you loved the classic big band sound to a rock beat with soulful vocals and lush horn arrangements that is the signature of the band Chicago, then this one’s for you. This may be geared toward the adult contemporary music fan who loved hits like ‘Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?’ and ‘Saturday in the Park’, but this is one Christmas album I’ve probably played more than any other since Sinatra’s collection. Robert Lamm, Lee Loughnane, Jason Scheff and Bill Champlin are enthusiastic and in top-notch form breathing fresh life into old chestnuts. Instead of trivializing the originals, they shape them to fit the style of the band. The only thing that would make this one better is if Terry Kath was still alive and riffing over the horns with his guitar. Scheff and Champlin turbo-charge and Lamm croons the slower selections, while the bubbly beat and crisp brass surrounding them make the recording sound like a snowy pile of fun. That was Lamm’s aim: “I grew up listening to all these people sing songs that gave me a really good feeling every time I heard them. I wanted to give the people of my generation that same feeling that I got and make it their own.” Task accomplished.
Dig Lee Loughnane belting out the Dean Martin classic about the stuff from which we roll a snowman. Stick a carrot in him, boys, he’s done. And please hold the lake effect snow.
Number 1: Aimee Mann “One More Drifter in the Snow” (SuperEgo Records, 2006)
For all its glorious invocation of snow and mistletoe, ‘I’ll Be Home for Christmas’ is one of the saddest Christmas songs ever. The tug at the heartstrings is in the final lyric: “if only in my dreams”. It’s one of the seven traditional songs on Aimee Mann’s superb Christmas record, produced by her longtime cohort Paul Bryan and featuring some jazzy but subtle guitar by Duke Levine. But what makes this album number one are the three other tracks, starting with the forlorn question Jimmy Webb asked in ‘Whatever Happened to Christmas?’ Not to worry, Jimmy, it’s back this year judging by the holiday spending already and the seasonal decorations on way more homes than seen during the last two or three years. On the song co-written by Mann’s husband Michael Penn with Jon Brion, ‘Christmastime’ ironically asks the question, “Hasn’t it been a wonderful year?” But the response is: “For the plans you’re making, all the time you’re taking, Greet the next one with good cheer, Won’t you dear, Just because it’s Christmastime”.
Since this feature’s layout is geared to save the best for last, the dessert on this entire list comes from the final song to be heard. And I’m typing this on a most appropriate day, the “Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception.” It’s for celebrating the intercession and maternal love of Mary. In doing so, God shows what is possible for us, wounded by sin and life itself – the healing of our whole humanity.
This isn’t necessarily a cup of holiday cheer, however, it’s the bracing chaser. “And to all the lost souls down below, What’s one more drifter in the snow? Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas”. Remember, when in times of trouble, turn to Mother Mary with confidence, for she is our answer, our light and our hope. ‘Calling on Mary’ to let it be.
What on earth are Chicago doing on this list? Jason Scheff and Bill Chumplin are awful and left because of artistic differences which is hilarious.