Our eagle-eyed reader (we’ve established that there is one of you) will remember that last week we were somewhat nervous at being summoned unto the company of The Big Boss Editor. Fear not gentle reader – not only did we survive but we came away with a fulsome sense of responsibility, a warm feeling of loyalty and a belly full of gin.
It has come to our attention that others this week have not been so lucky. The Grandiloquent Seven have nailed their colours to the mast (of what sadly appears to be a rudderless ship) and are full steam ahead toward the “centre” ground…or sea…or something. Obviously the burning question on all of our lips is “What colour are those colours?” We were ok with red, blue, yellow and a little purple. Now it appears that the soon to be Independent Party will have to identify by means of hue. A quick straw poll amongst us suggested ‘beige’ as an outright favourite but it remains to be seen what will happen. Moreover the seven are now eight and if you count the ‘lite-Blues’ its something of the measure of eleven. Crikey – that’s more than the (anti)Democratic Unionist Party representation in parliament. We are absolutely certain that, given their noble reasons for quitting their respective parties, that all of the ‘splinters’ will now call for by-elections in their seats. That would be a minimum, right? Maybe run things by your constituents, yeah? Just see how the people who put you where you are feel? Our breath is baited…
All of this brings to mind a certain discomfort situated in a certain region of the body. The medical name is sacro-illiac pain. This occurs when the bones in the lower back fuse and is commonly referred to as ‘a pain in the arse’. Apparently it’s excruciating. Let’s hope so. And, as if it were meant to be, we have a tune for that. Sounding very like a mid-seventies CSN,Y:
