Lately we were horrified to find that Americana-UK Towers had been visited by a host of unwanted visitors. In short we had a vermin problem. Rats. Big ones. Big, horrible nasty, sharp teethed Johnnies with scaly tails and a poor attitude to other people’s personal space. We presented the problem to The Editor and his “brilliant” solution was to send in more rats so that all the rats could kill the rats and then there would be no more rats. We were uncertain of his logic and indeed the state of his mental health so we hired the services of local Pest Controller Donny John who was happy to go in and tackle the problem. So gung ho was he that he insisted in going in without so much as a sharp stick to defend himself. Eventually we persuaded him to at least take a shotgun borrowed from the organic farmer up the road. All was well and the only payment he required was a pint of sweet sherry and a rendition of this on our jukebox.
I have a new greatest fear mind you which is frogs