Pick of the Political Pops: Patsy Cline “I Fall To Pieces”

Over the past two or three weeks the door to The Bunker at Americana-UK Towers has been triple locked with a sturdy scaffolding plank being pushed up against it for extra security. In what has become known as “Election Season” we have felt the need to protect ourselves from the madness inflicting the general populous whilst they busy themselves with a plebiscite or two. We are nothing.Er…sorry that should have said we are nothing if not democratically minded and we very much appreciate the fact that The Establishment allow us to have a small voice in the running of affairs. In fact we doff our metaphorical cap to them. We are so pleased that our vote is so meaningful. We are extra proud that we got a chance (or at least would have if ‘someone’ had bothered to send us a postal ballot) to vote in the European Parliament elections. Obviously we aren’t about to venture out in public and rub shoulders with the hoi poloi, as greatly unwashed as they are, because that would just be gross and we value our privacy. But if ‘someone’ had seen their way clear to allow us a vote that would have been nice.

Apparently many others similarly failed to be able to vote in a similar way which is a similarity we can’t ignore. What we propose to do is to ignore that fucking shit and get on with our own agenda. Er…sorry what we propose to do is to address the situation and implement an immediate plan in order to rectify the situation. Our first option, which we have wholeheartedly embraced, is to send a figurehead out there to get the fuck out having fucked this shit up. Er…sorry what we have decided to do is to graciously allow one of our number to fall upon their sword, symbolically, in order that we can get an even more useless cunt in charge. Er…sorry what will happen is that a small number of The Blues will get to decide what happens next and which will affect the dreams, aspirations and hopes of our younger folk for generations to come. Yes, yes, we are pretty sure that will work and that we are not completely falling apart with absolutely no idea as to what is happening because we are completely fucking clueless. At the end of the day what we can be sure of is that people want us to get on with our failed policy because we have implicitly been told so in an ambiguous vote. So there. Er sorry…their. Er sorry… they’re. Er…it’s all falling to pieces….

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