There’s a TV in every room here at Americana-UK Towers (all fifty or so). None of them are connected, of course, but we need to be able to sell ourselves to visiting dignitaries to The People’s Republic of Liverpudlia and delegates attending the famous Americana–UK Towers ‘Phestival of Phun” – our annual event celebrating everything downbeat, miserable and featuring steel guitar. Our sister festival, the more ‘niche’ Phestivities of Phunnies, features everything downbeat, miserable and lap-steel is held every two years. This one is exclusive to musical pedants. If you haven’t yet received your invitation to either then please bear with us. There are two key reasons for any delay: (1) we phucking don’t like you or (2) we don’t give a phucking shit
Anyhow since the TVs don’t work we have no idea who Geremy Gyle is and we can’t work out who Nigel Garage is, either. Things have been popping up on our radar that both people are important but we have been unable to ascertain why. We do know that Geremy Gyle is 5’ 7” and Nigel Garage is 5’ 6”. We are entirely uncertain as to the correct nomenclature but we are guessing that they might be classed as phucking pygmies, the pair of them. Let us know your thoughts.