There was a big political event this week but our mums always told us that if you ignore something – like an angry wasp or an embarrassing rash – it will go away eventually. So that’s what we’ve done. On the other hand we do have a column to submit so I can tell you that we guffawed heartily down in The Bunker on hearing the news that The TIGS or The CHUCKups or whatever they are calling themselves this week have splintered, fractured and likewise fallen apart.
We, in this column, christened them The Beiges (or it might have been The Funny Tinges – we can’t remember…or care). since most of the primary colours had been taken by the major parties. We suspect that the vast majority of the electorate have similarly not given a fuck about them because they were beige-washed at the European elections. Funny as actual fuck.
Also The Purples are now a spent force having been replaced by the…er…Greys? (colour blindness affects about 8% of the male population and 0.5% of the female population in this country so it’s inevitable that at least one of our regular features is written by someone so afflicted). The Blues (we’re clutching at straws now) got a spanking, The Reds were mediocre and The Yellows (proving how short people’s memories can be) did OK as did The Greens. Actually The Greens really are The Greens so respect to them for wearing their hearts on their (green) sleeves. Anyhow nobody is any the wiser and we’re all still up shit creek without a paddle. Let’s just hope it will all fade away…
By the way which of the parties is orange? We’re fairly certain something orange happened this week but we’ve ignored it and it has now gone away. Shucks.