Pick of the Political Pops: Sturgill Simpson “The Promise”

We had a quick straw poll amongst the residents of Americana-UK Towers and pretty much to a man and woman we decided that this was the crappiest zombie apocalypse that we have ever lived through. We didn’t get to break out the AK-47s and go on a zombie slaughterfest. We didn’t get to loot the local Cooperative Stores mini-market for its plentiful stock of artisan gin and Green Shield stamps. We didn’t even get to strike up unlikely relationships with the same/opposite sex, bound together by a desperate need for survival, companionship and consensual (if desperate) sex.

So now it’s all over and we are watching the dust settle. Well – we say ‘all over’ but nobody knows for sure and a second spike is a real possibility. That shouldn’t, however, stop you from going to the pub, going for a curry or going to your hair emporium of choice. Unluckily we can’t seem to get our nails done or (luckily) visit a gymnasium. We’re not sure why but we guess that the folks in charge know what they are doing. And of course we have put our faith in our leaders from the outset. They really have done a remarkable job throughout and are a thoroughly good bunch of chaps and chapesses. They were only behind the curve 99% of the time and so should be given the benefit of the doubt. Lockdown was too late, PPE procurement was a shambles, testing was a shambles, track and trace was too late and didn’t work, quarantine has been a farce, the rules only applied to the proles and not the ‘insiders’ and…and…and…

Look – there is a clear message that we should take away from this and that is that the fault clearly lies with care home providers. What were they thinking? Also teachers – damn their eyes – who stupidly raised concerns about the safety aspects of children returning to schools. Also NHS workers – damn their eyes – who frankly deserve to pay their bloody tuition fees and for their own health care and pay for their car parking at work. Also the rest of the bloody population – damn their eyes – who took it upon themselves to take the easing of lockdown measures to mean that lockdown measures would be eased. Bloody proles. Anybody would think that right-wing populist governments, who have seen their countries suffer the worst effects of the pandemic, relied on those fuckers to be where they are. We promise you this: there will be a reckoning and we reckon that everybody is to blame. Except our glorious leaders.

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