As you will know from last weeks ‘Pops’ political party conference season is in full swing. Indeed our own conference continues notwithstanding the fact that (a) we do not represent any political party and (b) there are those in our ranks who wish to ensure that we never reach any decision about anything ever. We do, however, have an understanding that those of our number who have outgrown their usefulness, become dead weight or are simply too worn out to continue are taken out to a spot behind the Americana-UK Towers vegetable patch and disposed of organically.
Not so, it seems, the Illiberal Demoprats who are to all intents and purposes a repository for politicos of other parties who wish to further or extend or resurrect their political careers, organically or otherwise. Leader Josephine Swansong has welcomed many new members into their ranks – Chuckup The Money, Samantha Gymnast and Doctor DeathLee to name but a few. These people don’t just become new members they have a ready-made seat in Parliament unencumbered by small technicalities such as being put there by their electorate constituents. No matter. The Illiberals have a rich tradition of not letting principles get in their way such as combining forces with The Social Democratic party (for whose members being in a socialist party was way too socialist) and propping up a minority right-wing government when they got a sniff of power thus enabling a programme of austerity which has been the ruination of many. This was of course an entirely principled stand and well worth it because the Yellow Enablers got to have a yellow Deputy Prime Minister for the first time since anybody could remember or care about.
Leader Josephine Swansong has taken great delight in upsetting roughly half of the population by announcing that henceforth Brexit isn’t really a thing anymore and that she won’t talk to the leader of the opposition because he wants to take us back to the 1970s (you know when employment was low, disposable income was high, there was a plentiful supply of housing and great strides were taken in reducing inequality). But we can “trust’ the Illiberals because, erm, they say so. And they are not lying because, erm, their lips are moving in synch with the noises that they are making. And they are ‘of the centre’ although their centre is probably a fair few degrees to the right of the centre of all the other established democracies of the world and not the warm and cuddly place they would wish to have you think…
