Amid despair Ruston Kelly finds joy.
Few artists so consistently bare their souls with such blunt honestly as Ruston Kelly. Repeatedly he seeks some kind of release from calamitous experiences ranging from addiction to failed relationship only to find himself back in the depths of depression once again. Such candour runs through his three solo studio albums with a bellow of defiance in his 2023 release ‘Weakness’. For this album Kelly introduces what may seem a complete change of direction, namely joy. But ‘Pale Through the Window’ is neither revelation nor a self-help manual. If Kelly has not exorcised his demons, he can live with them. He can find happiness alongside struggle and what really comes through is a sense of gratitude that he is alive and can experience emotions lighter than relentless darkness.
‘Pale Through the Window’ is a soundscape. Lush arrangements swirl around lyrics that pull no punches to release sonic waves of emotion. The opener and title track sets the scene, “Spending most my days alone/ Dreaming of connection/ Pale, through the window”. Kelly sings with a wistful acceptance of his lot. He is quiet, there is almost an echo as his feelings reverberate, as he ponders, “I don’t know how I ended up/ At the old bar off of Eastland”. If this sounds more a continuation of his previous album he quickly heads in a different direction. ‘Wayside’ opens a door to the world outside Kelly’s self-imposed wall of self-examination. There is a nervous energy as if he struggles, quite understandably, to make some sense of this clamour. Longtime collaborator and producer Jarrad K and Kelly’s touring band work up a powerful, urgent sound that invigorates.
Love songs tended to be a rare feature of Kelly’s work but now he embraces that emotion with touching simplicity in ‘Me and You’. His devotion is unconditional but not suffocating. He offers the closest company or space admitting in the end, “Cuz with you’s where I belong/ And if you ever think of quittin’/ Just listen to this song”. Kelly takes these feelings to a higher level on ‘Waiting to Love You’, an anthem of commitment. The big sound takes a more country pop hue but there above all rides Kelly’s authenticity.
One emotion that has never been part of Kelly’s repertoire is any sense of self-pity. As he picks himself up he seems very aware of that resilience. ’Pickleball’ speaks again of love but with the proviso that, “I’m sick of burning out and saying sorry/ She said I don’t ever wanna see you like that”. The crescendo that builds up underscores that promise.
Ruston Kelly’s determination never to give up fighting his problems is impressive. That he can do so with self-deprecation, hope and joy adds to his achievement. ‘Pale Through the Window’ is the result.
