It’s been a slightly longer pause than anticipated since the last attempt to answer all conundrums posed in a song through the words of another song. But here we are, back by the clamour of popular demand. And it’s a strange difficulty that we’ve faced this week. The advice offices were visited by Brett and Rennie Sparks, better known as The Handsome Family. And it was a truly heart wrenching story that Brett regaled us with – it seems that he was at a Carnival or State Fair, and didn’t visit all the sideshow tents he could have. Between the hypnotist and the forgotten country stars was “Tiny Tina, the world’s smallest horse – just a dollar to go see her just a dollar to see that little horse.” The opportunity of a lifetime, and he’d blown it “Tiny Tina…why didn’t I go see her why didn’t I go see that little horse?”
Whilst it’s perfectly understandable to suffer from diminutive equine regret, in this particular case we had a suspicion that it was mixed up with selective amnesia. Or, as agony Uncle Tom Russell put it: “it’s one thing to recall not seeing a god-damn tiny horse, but it’s quite another to remember the gut-wrenching fear of facing Spanish Johnny the pugilist for two rounds. The pony was just for the kids, god-damn it“. We checked our carnie records, and he was right.
“Of course” he added with a drawl, “sometimes the fight is just a metaphor for something more basic to the human experience. I mean love, god damn it.” And he was right, as usual. So, what had we learnt? Don’t pass up on love and explain it away as a small pony you never saw.
Photo: Jesse Littlebird