Down here in The Bunker of AUK Towers we are champions of pointless exercises. The Editor is fond of making us do physical jerks first thing of a morning to set us up for the day’s work. Then we’ll take the landfill (we like to think of it as ‘recycling’) out, then we’ll discuss the hot news of the day whilst simultaneously patting ourselves on the back for our progressive politicality, then we’ll perhaps have a spot of lunch – generally a quinoa salad washed down with a pint or two of IPA from the local Brewing Co-Operative, then we’ll wash up (recycling the washing-up water because its better tasting than the IPA) and then we’ll begin the day’s work of writing reviews/features/news snippets/videos. It is nothing if not a picture of Elysian goodness.
This week, however, The Editor threw something of a spanner in the works by mentioning that it was our democratic duty/right to cast our votes in a plebiscite concerning the European Parliament. As has been pointed out we don’t mind the odd pointless exercise but this surely is beyond the pale? Now, The People’s Republic of Liverpudlia might stay within The European Union or it might leave The European Union. We are kind of 50/50 in that regard. What we think is beyond question is that voting members in to that body’s Parliament made absolutely no difference before, it will make no difference after and it makes no sense now. There were murmurings that some of our number might use this as a ‘protest’ vote (those 35% of us that could be bothered to go to the polling station, generally). The other 75% of us urged caution in voting for the Yellow Enablers. Look what happened last time you did that, we cry. Whatever happens you can be assured that no one – absolutely no fucker in any kind of position of power – gives a shit what you think. Or, at least, not until you tell them so and act upon it. We would simply say vote with your conscience. And next time that you are offered a pint of IPA please point out that hops are there to flavour beer, not overpower it. These issues just don’t seem to go away.